First Post

I am going to set the tone by talking about something positive.

The new Pierce the Veil single. It’s a fun romp. Familiar territory but not like any song they have. It’s pretty hard to not sound like PtV so long as Vic has his mouth open. I say that with as much love for his particular flavor of singing as one can have.

vic

Angsty. Dynamic. Dramatic. A hint of Mexicano.

This time with an added bonus! For the first time on any record, you can actually hear bass in a PtV song! I was pretty excited. Jaime is a great player and him getting buried in the mix on a couple records was an absolute travesty. The re-mixed and mastered edition of “Selfish Machines” had a better bass presence, but only years after the fact. So we have bass now and I’m excited about it.

The rest of the mix is TERRIBLE. Cluttered. Poorly edited. It’s a mess. Weird stutter effects on guitars that don’t make any sense. Vic is way out front and the usual tricks to make any section that is just vocal not so awkward was forgone. They definitely tune his vocal less, and while you will rarely hear me advocate aggressive vocal tuning, Vic is the type that needs the help. Something feels… off… with the whole song, and I’m certain it is the vocal.

“Scream” vocals sound as good as ever. Drumming is solid, fun, and groovy. I like the song, and I am happy to have it, but it’s going to take some getting used to. Overall, its a B grade effort. Check out “The Divine Zero” on youtube and iTunes and stuff. Worth your time.

And now something that pissed me off.

I really don’t know why I clicked on the video. I knew full well what was going to happen. I just hold out that sliver of hope the Memphis May Fire is going to write a song worth a single shit again. I was let down. Again.

Expected

A very well shot music video for an autotuned, triggered, riff built, unimaginative turd.

Some background. When I discovered MMF in 2010 or so, they were a southern sounding post-hardcore band who wrote nasty riffs and had very cool song structures. Instruments sounded like instruments. The drums might have even been real. Enter Rise Records, everything goes down the shitter and they are like 5 albums deep in garbage and show no signs of trying to write a real song ever again. Still, I hold out hope that they will stop making Hot-Topic-Core and start putting forth an effort instead of letting computers do all the work.

So it’s a typical, overproduced nightmare. Guitars are so riff-built* that they sound like Guitar Pro*.

*Riff building is the act of piecing together single recorded notes in order to make a song. Note for note, chord for chord, it is recorded one tiny piece at a time and then put together in an inhumanly precise manner that sounds like complete garbage and proves full well that these bands don’t know how to play their instruments. Yes, it is cheating as hard as one can possibly cheat.

*Guitar Pro is a program where you draw notes on a digital fretboard and a synthesizer that sounds almost like a guitar plays it back. It is a great writing tool and is known for its robotic, disjointed, awkward sound.

Themoreyouknow

So riff building sounds like Guitar Pro. I think I have made it abundantly clear why that is a bad thing.

The song sucks. It doesn’t go anywhere. Matty’s self importance is at an all time high. Random shots of him holding his cross necklace throughout. We get it, dude, you’re a christian now. Your song doesn’t mean anything. You are SUCH an individual and there is SOME kind of pressure to rob you of that. Be strong, Matty, be strong… you handsome, troubled rogue.

slow-jerk-o

So they are chugging away at some button mashy nonsense when a new sound happens. What’s this? Guitar solos? GUITAR SOLOS. In this mess? How? Why? What a ballsy move.

And they would have my respect if these guitar solos (yea, SOLOS. plural. one per “guitarist”) weren’t poorly composed and riff built all to hell like everything else. So their sad attempts at proving that they know how to play their instruments are counter-productive. You failed to gain my respect again. You will sell a million copies of this terrible record to children that don’t know any better. Worst of all, you will further halt the progress of music as we know it. Musical Cancer lives on.

So I’ll give them a D- for pretending to try. Listen to whatever the fuck this shitty song is called… but beware, you might have a coronary.

Welcome to The Frying Ban. I am Bacon, and I’m going to burn a lot of things. Things are going to get messy.

gallagher

Kinda like that.

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